Best Ways To Improve The Sexual Life In The Couple Relationship
In the initial moments of the relationship, sexual stimulation and the desire to connect intimately with our partner accompany us at all times. However, sexual activity and desire decrease after several years with the same partner in most people.
The interest decreases, the encounters are spaced out, and the libido enters a state of progressive lethargy that can relegate sexual activity to a mere occasional process of undesired and gratifying relationships.
In the best of cases, love replaces infatuation, the initial passion gives way to affection, but the attraction felt for the other as a sexual object and subject disappears.
Throughout a person’s life, there are variations in the intensity of sexual desire. These oscillations fall within normality. The lack of sexual desire can be due to multiple factors:
- Daily stress
- Lack of sleep
- Health problems
- Hormonal imbalances
- Drug use
- Arrival of children
- Impaired communication
One of the most common causes of the decrease or loss of sexual desire in the couple is the state of mind and disposition. And it is that both research studies and psychotherapeutic practice reveal that boredom and sexual monotony are the most frequent factors why sex fades even in couples who continue to love each other.
The main sexual organ of people is the brain, above the genital organs and the erogenous zones. Boredom – corresponds in this case to what is called “habituation” in psychological terms.
This occurs when the factor of surprise and the ability to seduce disappear from the couple’s sexual activity. This explains the reason why in most couples, sexual desire gradually declines after a time of relationship until reaching, in certain cases, the inhibition of desire or the suppression of sexual life.
The absence of passion or lack of sexual desire does not always affect both members of the couple in the same way. The most normal thing is that it decays in one of the parties while the other continues to want to have relationships.
When the sexual life of the couple disappears or becomes a half-hearted practice that is carried out mechanically and with a decrease or suppression of pleasure, it becomes a problem.
To have a satisfactory sexual life in a long-term relationship, we must bear in mind the following considerations:
Sustained desire in a relationship does not work by magic
In the myth of spontaneity, everything that is going to happen only happens in a long-term relationship in a premeditated way, with will and intentionality. Over time, the power of intense attraction and spontaneous excitement is lost, which requires us to develop that impulse intentionally instead of trusting that the moment, the circumstances, or the stars’ alignment relight the spark of desire.
In a lasting relationship, it is common for sexuality and emotions to go hand in hand
For this reason, it is essential to strengthen affection outside the sexual encounter and to cultivate the factors that favor a positive emotional climate that facilitate the connection with the couple.
It should be avoided that sex becomes a precooked and bland dish
Nor can it be relegated to a weekend procedure: sex is well-being and pleasure, not an obligation. However, it will be necessary to know how to respect natural times and accept that the relationship may go through times of less sexual activity. Sex is good, but more sex is not better. The pressure to have sex with intense frequency can be stressful.
Sexuality is more than genital intercourse and orgasm
We must live more global sexuality. Sexual relations do not necessarily have to culminate in orgasm to be satisfactory. Sensuality can be present in the everyday acts of our relationship as a couple. Foreplay is not something you do five minutes before sexual intercourse. Foreplay should start at the end of the last orgasm.
Stay sexually awake (connect with our auto sexuality) and maintain sexual interest in the other
To have a satisfactory sexual life, it is not necessary to do many different things or to try the whole repertoire of techniques that are presented to us in literature or in images on the Internet or other media.
However, if we do not want to have an inane sexual life, it is convenient to avoid routine and departure from a planned script and perpetuate every sexual relationship.
Everything becomes conventional and anodyne in sex when the customs or the same habits are repeated without variation. Keeping erotic stimulation alive requires renewing the force of attraction.
People’s sexuality is not invariable
Our preferences may change over time, or simply at some point, you may want to experience new things. It is important to develop healthy sexual communication so as not to take for granted what our partner likes.
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